whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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