I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
