i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
