i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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