Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
