my soul wont recognize me after tonight
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
