john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
