he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
