I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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