it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
