He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
