you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
