Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
