and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize