they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize