They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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