nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
