The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
