If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
