i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
