It's a beautiful day for a hangover
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
