quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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