If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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