I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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