Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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