all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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