why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
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How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
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have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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