Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
