Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
