How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
