hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
