when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
how drunk are you?
Several
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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