Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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