did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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