a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
