I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
