I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
