OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
