so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
