Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
