STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
