She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think a kid would responsible me up
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
