I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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