I puked a lego.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
