Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
