This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
