you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
