So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
