Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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