I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
