In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
