I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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