I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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