Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
that may or may not have been my penis.
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