I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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